


Things Rey and Ben Have Mistaken For a Feeling Over the Years

by radioactivesaltghoul



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, or something like that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2019-12-29 21:43:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 9,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18302483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivesaltghoul/pseuds/radioactivesaltghoul
Summary: A series of short, connected drabbles about two coworkers who have nothing in common except for their tendency to mistake situations and events for feelings.(Exactly nothing. Nothing at all.)Inspired by the articleThings I Have Mistaken For A Feeling Over the Yearsfrom the (now-archived) websiteThe Toast.





	1. Being late for something

**Author's Note:**

> "But, Radioactive, don't you have a bunch of other WIPs at the moment?"
> 
> Yes. Yes I do.
> 
> "So why start one more?"
> 
> Because I need something quick, lazy, and fluffy to work on.
> 
> (Well okay, I don't, but it's happening anyway.)
> 
> I know nothing about working at a media/journalism company so pretend that this is all accurate and realistic if it isn't. I have done zero research for this and it is completely unbeta'd, as per usual.

Rey was having the worst Monday she’d had in a long time. First she couldn’t find anything to wear because the washing machine in her building wasn’t working, so her dirty laundry pile was the size of a small mountain. And then a bus drove through a puddle that drenched her in muddy water, so she had to run back inside to find something else to wear, because she couldn’t show up to work like that. By the time she’d dug up clothing that was clean (albeit mismatched), she was already late to the Monday morning meeting that Resistance Media had. As managing editor of the tech column, Rey was never able to sneak on by in those meetings.

And of all the Mondays to be late for, she realized as she jogged from the bus stop to the office, it just had to be the one where the new managing editor for Resistance Media’s “Culture & Society” column was being introduced.

Resistance Media wasn’t the biggest journalism company out there, but it was big enough that Rey’s late entrance to the meeting was obvious. Even though half of the staff wasn’t physically in the room, they were dialing or FaceTiming into the meeting. And because it was one of _those_ days, the only open seat in the room was the one furthest away from the door. Because of course it was. Rey was too busy trying to get her nerves under control as she moved as gracefully as possible in the crowded conference room, but it wasn’t until she heard a deep voice drawl “So glad you could make it, Miss....?"

_Fuck._ Her eyes snapped up to meet the speaker’s, and her first reaction was a very troubling sense of _Oh no, he’s hot._

Her second reaction was that she should have asked Poe for more information about Ben Solo, because it would have been nice to have been prepared for the sight of the giant man glaring at her like she’d kidnapped his puppy, or something.

“Johnson,” she said. “Rey Johnson. Tech managing editor.”

Solo raised an eyebrow. “I hope you’re better at meeting deadlines than you are at being on time to meetings.” Before Rey could react, he continued introducing himself and his background, leaving her to stew in how much she hated the feeling of being late for something.

 


	2. Being in a crowded room

_The nerve of some people,_ Ben grumbled to himself as he all but shoved his new employees and coworkers out of the way in his quest to get a cup of coffee from the busy breakroom. He hadn’t had the highest expectations for his first day at Resistance Media, but was it so much to ask that everyone be on time to a company-wide meeting held every Monday at the same time? The fact that Rey Johnson had arrived in mismatched clothing with makeup smeared all under one of her eyes only added to the offense. _What was my mother thinking, hiring someone like that to be the managing editor of anything?_

Ben had left First Order Publications in a blaze of glory (read: a series of “anonymous” op-eds that everyone knew had come from him) to take a position at the company his grandfather had started. It was proving to be an awkward transition, thanks to the decade he’d spent estranged from his parents and uncle, but overall he was looking forward to being the new managing editor of RM’s “Culture & Society” column. It was a nice change from the soulless advertising department work he’d been doing at First Order Publications.

As he approached the coffee machine, he spotted a very familiar-looking mismatched shirt and trousers that he knew belonged to the woman who had interrupted his meeting earlier. It occurred to him that maybe she wasn’t that bad, maybe she was just having a bad morning, and maybe he should apologize. Before he could open his mouth to do so, however, she snapped “Are you going to berate me for taking a break now, too?”

Throwing her ire back at her was pure reflex for Ben. “Is it so difficult to be on time for a meeting that you have at the same time every week?”

“For your information,” she said coldly, “I was running late due to a number of factors beyond my control. Why do you care, anyway? I’m not in your department.”

The question almost caught him by surprise. “Your lack of professionalism reflects back on the company, which in turn, reflects back on me, as one of the managing editors,” he said, looking her up and down again. Not that he was an expert, but was it really that difficult to make sure you didn’t have yesterday’s eyeliner smudged all under your eyes?

But speaking of eyes...even with the black smudges, she had the prettiest hazel eyes Ben had ever seen. The three buns she had her hair pulled back in should have been juvenile, but somehow, they worked for her. And okay, the mismatched clothing was pretty bad, but the pinstripe trousers and floral shirt still looked good on her anyway. Somehow.

How was this hot mess of a woman so...well, hot?

“Well,” she drawled, “I do _sincerely_ apologize for mistakenly making you, a person I have never met before in my life, look bad in front of his new workplace, including a number of people who have known you longer than they’ve known me. Really. I’m _clearly_ at fault for _your_ bad first impression.” She didn’t even wait for a response before she turned and walked off. Ben watched her elbow her way out of the break room, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened.

It wasn’t until he went to pour himself a cup of coffee that he _really_ got angry, though. “What kind of asshole takes the last cup of coffee and just walks off?” he shouted at the empty carafe.

 


	3. Having a lot of emails

Considering the fact that they were in different departments, Rey sure got a lot of emails from Ben Solo. They weren’t all addressed to her, specifically, but he seemed to have an inflated idea of his own importance. Maybe that was what happened when you took a job at your mother’s company, she thought. She wouldn’t have any idea what that was like.

By Solo’s third week at Resistance Media, Rey was ready to explode. Was it _really_ necessary to send a passive-aggressive email to the entire company calling her out for taking the last cup of coffee without putting another pot on to brew? And then another to follow-up, apologizing for CC’ing the entire company when “he only meant to email everyone working at HQ”? Or how about email after email about new ideas, new rules, new suggestions, new _anything._

Rey had had enough. “Solo!” she shouted, barging into his office. “I don’t know how it worked at whatever company you crawled out of to come here, but at Resistance Media, we don’t need to send an email every five minutes about pointless bullshit that only affects two people!”

He didn’t even bother standing up. _God, he’s tall,_ Rey thought, not for the first time. She wasn’t short, but she definitely wasn’t used to having to actually look up to someone like that. “You _do_ work for the technology column, don’t you?” he asked in that annoyingly deep, calm voice that gave Rey the shivers.

She knew what her damn job title was. “Your point?”

“Surely the managing editor of the technology column can figure out how to filter email properly,” he said, well aware that setting up a filter to block all emails from him that didn’t concern her directly was damn near impossible, short of getting a robot to go through her emails for her. Rey may have been the head of the department, but that didn’t mean Resistance Media could afford to hire her a secretary.

Lacking anything better to say, Rey settled on a glare at him. “You’re impossible,” she hissed before stomping out of his office.

 

* * *

 

If anything, Ben sent even more emails after that.

 


	4. Someone else is honking their car horn, probably not at me, but I can still hear it

It had been a long-ass week, and Rey was ready to go the fuck home and sleep by the time Friday afternoon rolled around. There had been a mad scramble to replace some of their articles last-minute for this month’s issue of _Resistance Matters_. It wasn’t the first time that had happened, and Rey doubted it would be the last. Judging from all of the shouting she’d heard coming from Solo’s office, he’d been having a similar week. The lead-up to the monthly publication date was always rough, and even though she still couldn’t stand the man, she at least understood where the anger was coming from.

Rey knew the bus route well enough to know that the amount of traffic they were sitting in right now wasn’t normal. She resisted the urge to groan audibly. _Of all days to get stuck in a post-work traffic jam,_ she thought, looking out the window in an attempt to see what the problem was. Whatever it was, it was far enough away that Rey couldn’t see anything from where she sat. The honking from the car in the lane next to the bus was loud enough to be heard over the sound of Rey’s podcast, which was just the icing on the shit cake, really.

She considered flipping the driver off, but decided against it. It wasn’t going to accomplish anything, most likely. When the driver honked again, she shifted in her seat, trying to get a better view of the asshole throwing a hissyfit on their car horn. Upon getting a glimpse of the asshole driver’s all-too-familiar face, Rey’s reaction was a cross between _of course Solo drives a sports car, what an asshole_ and _oh my god he’s screaming at the traffic._ She felt oddly voyeuristic watching Solo’s traffic jam-induced road rage, but she couldn’t look away. The opportunities to sit and watch him without his notice were nonexistent while at the office, and she found that she couldn’t pass on the opportunity now.

At some point, his road rage seemed to burn itself out a bit, because he closed his mouth and started looking out around at the vehicles and street around him. Naturally, because Rey hadn’t stopped her staring, this resulted in them locking eyes. She was already frantically trying to come up with excuses about her staring— _I wasn’t staring at you but at the bird shit on your car, I just happened to look over at that exact moment, you’re going to give yourself a stroke yelling like that_ —when he turned bright red (which may have just been a trick of the light; it was hard to tell from two panes of glass away) and ripped his gaze away, as if locking eyes with his workplace nemesis was enough to knock the road rage right out of him. 

Curious.

 


	5. Ran out of asprin

_Mr Solo,_

_I regret to inform you that Max Rebo is unable to accommodate your request for an exclusive interview for Resistance Media at this time. Max Rebo apologizes for the change in plans. I and the Max Rebo Band do hope that this does not impact your publication in any way._

_Sincerely,  
Droopy McCool_

Fucking great. His meeting with the other managing editors was supposed to start in approximately three minutes, and Max Rebo had backed out, leaving him with nothing for his column’s feature article for the month. Ben knew that pride was a deadly sin (or whatever), but he’d be damned if he let Rey Johnson win this one.

Two minutes. Surely he had a backup plan stored somewhere amongst his notes and email drafts? But no, there was nothing. Nothing except this goddamn headache that had been plaguing him all morning and had only grown exponentially worse in the last five minutes. He massaged his temples, curing the fact that he was out of aspirin.

One minute. There was a click of heels signaling Rey’s arrival. Ben bit back a sigh. She was nothing if not punctual. Even now, three months after their initial meeting, it felt like she was trying to prove him wrong out of spite. If it had been anyone else, he would have egged them on, but having the level of spite he usually operated at turned back on him was infuriating. “What’s with you?” she asked from the door to Ben’s office.

“Nothing,” he snapped. “Just a headache.”

He expected Rey to make a jeering comment at him, but to his surprise, she turned and left the office in silence. Ben blinked at the empty door. Was that all it took to make her leave him alone?

She returned a moment later, thunking a small bottle onto the desk in front of him. “What’s this?” he asked, peering at it.

“Aspirin,” Rey said. “For your headache.” Before he could figure out if he should thank her or not, she added, “Don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t want to deal with your crankiness being notched up by fifty. That’s all this is.” The words lacked their usual bite, however, and despite the usual animosity that existed between them, Ben felt something warm bloom in his chest. What the hell?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Max Rebo Band](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Max_Rebo_Band)   
>  [Droopy McCool](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Droopy_McCool)
> 
>  
> 
> I said I wasn’t doing research for this but I couldn’t resist digging through Wookieepedia for something to throw in here.


	6. If it’s warm out

Rey didn't have the nickname "Rey of light" simply because it was an easy pun. She really did love sunlight, and the first truly warm day of spring was one of her favorite days every year. Actually, scratch that; it was better than the holidays, because she never had to feel bad about not having anyone to spend it with. 

The only thing that could bring her down today—the first nice day after a too-long winter—was Ben Solo's broody attitude stomping all over her good mood. "What's your problem?" she snapped after the fifth passive-aggressive comment he made about her during a meeting with the other managing editors. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Poe, Finn, Rose, and Kaydel exchange glances. 

"My problem?" Solo said, raising an eyebrow. "I don't have a problem. It's you with the problem. Get your head out of the clouds and do your fucking job."

"Excuse me?" she hissed. She heard someone mutter, "Oh no, here we go," but she was too furious with Solo to pay attention to who had said it.

"You heard me," he said. "Get your head out of the clouds. What's got you so distracted, anyway? You look far too ha—" He cut himself off, leaving Rey to wonder what she looked _too much_ about.

"Just because I have the capacity to be in a good mood doesn't mean I'm distracted!" 

"I am perfectly capable of being in a good mood!" he shouted. "You just never see it because you always put me in a bad one!"

This was evidently too much for the other people in the room, because Finn said, "Guys, can we—"

"Maybe you just need to get your head out of your ass for once," Rey hissed. She wasn't offended that she put him in a bad mood. It was mutual.

"—get back to the meeting," Finn continued, sighing.

 


	7. Wearing sunglasses

Most people would be surprised to learn that Ben Solo didn’t, in fact, hate sunny days. It was an easy mistake to make, given his pale skin and tendency towards dressing in all black, but the truth was that Ben needed vitamin D just as much as the next human being. The added benefit to being outside on a sunny day was that he could hide behind sunglasses. And the benefit of hiding behind sunglasses was that no one knew where his eyes were actually looking when he wore them.

Case in point: Resistance Media held monthly barbecues throughout the summer. The headquarters were located within walking distance of a public park that provided the space for doing so, and the RM employees made full use of that. It was considered a perk by most of the employees, including Ben. Breaking the bad habit of working himself to the bone that he’d picked up working for First Order Publications was still slow going in some ways, but he couldn’t deny how nice it was to be able to take an afternoon once a month to relax while still getting paid for his time.

Not to mention the opportunity it gave him to watch his fellow RM employees, including a certain managing editor of the technology section. Hiding behind his sunglasses, Ben was able to watch as Rey, Finn, Rose, and a handful of other employees (whose names he hadn’t bothered to learn yet) played volleyball on one of the sandy courts offered by the park. It was almost difficult to believe that the tightly wound woman who fought him on everything could look so relaxed and carefree as she and her friends scrambled around a sandy pit to hit a battered volleyball around, and Ben couldn’t stop himself from watching her as he tried to reconcile the woman playing volleyball with the woman making his work life hell. 

“Whatcha looking at, Solo?” Poe said, plunking himself down on the picnic table bench next to Ben.

“Nothing,” Ben said, grateful for the sunglasses.

“Right,” Poe said. Ben could practically hear him smirking. “Rey’s a good volleyballer, isn’t she?”

“I wouldn’t know.” If his face started turning red, he could just blame the sun.

Poe hummed, taking a sip of his beer. “Sure you wouldn’t,” he laughed.

“Fuck off, Dameron.”

 


	8. Four hours’ worth of time having elapsed since taking ecstasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends the ep ix trailer killed me and i am posting this from the grave

Culture and Tech didn’t usually do a lot of collaborative work, but Leia had said that she wanted to try something new this month, and her new thing was making Rey and Ben collaborate on a couple of articles. Privately, Ben thought that his mother was having a joke at his expense. Even though he didn’t make a habit of discussing his personal feelings on the topic with Leia, she had to have been aware of the animosity between Rey and Ben that had been present since he’d started at Resistance Media ten months ago. Everyone was.

“Here’s a weird new thing that I found,” Rey said, sliding into the chair on the other side of Ben’s desk. “Some company is doing an open demo of their new VR software.”

“What’s weird about that?” 

Rey grinned. It wasn’t an expression normally given to Ben, and he was almost thrown by the way it made her eyes light up. “The program they’re demoing is a simulation for what it’s like to take ecstasy.”

Neither Rey nor Ben had ever taken ecstasy, so they weren’t going to be able to speak for how well the program measured up to the real thing. “They say you’re supposed to have a babysitter when you do E,” Rey said as they waited for the company to set up the demo for them.

“Am I the babysitter in this scenario, or are you?”

She raised an eyebrow. “We’re both going to try it, aren’t we?”

Well, it was a collaborative article, so... “Good point,” he said. “So who goes first?”

Rey held out a hand. “Rock, paper, scissors.”

Ben lost (scissors to Rey’s rock), leaving him to watch as the employee helped get Rey set up with the VR headset. “You’d better not be filming this,” she warned Ben.

“Why? Scared you’ll do something stupid?”

“I’ll probably have a dumb facial expression on the half of my face you can see with this thing on.”

“You don’t have a dumb facial expression on right now.” He was surprised by how sincere the words were. Rey was, too, judging by the little _oh_ that formed on her lips.

Four hours later, they were getting in Ben’s car to head back to the office. “That was actually pretty fun,” Rey said, busying herself with the seatbelt so that she didn’t have to look at Ben.

Ben couldn’t keep a small smile from forming on his lips. “Yeah,” he agreed. “You’re not half-bad to work with sometimes, Johnson.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [The VR program that simulates taking E is a real thing](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3497589/Can-virtual-reality-recreate-effect-DRUGS-Firm-reveals-acid-trip-HTC-s-headset-says-sale.html)


	9. Wearing too many layers in an overheated room

“They really need to fix the heat in this building,” Rose said, unwrapping her scarf. “It’s an OSHA violation if half the building is overheated and the other half is underheated, right?”

“No idea.” Rey’s and Rose’s offices were both in the “too cold” half of the building; the conference room they had their Thursday afternoon meeting in, however, was in the “too hot” half of the building. Finn and Kaydel were already in the room, looking properly de-layered. Rey had just grabbed the bottom of her sweater so that she could pull it over her head when she heard the sounds of another meeting participant arriving. She didn’t give any thought to this until she realized that her shirt had stuck to her sweater when she pulled it off, giving the room a full view of the old, ratty bra she’d thrown on underneath. (At least she was wearing a bra today, right?) “Oh, fuck,” she hissed, scrambling to pull her shirt down while simultaneously untangling herself from her sweater. For the most part, Resistance Media had a casual dress code, but not so casual that Rey was comfortable with her coworkers seeing what she had on underneath her shirt.

When Rey finally managed to pull the damned sweater off, she was faced with the sight of Ben Solo looking red-faced and very obviously trying to look at anything else other than her. She couldn’t put her finger on why this pissed her off. It wasn’t like she cared what he thought about her, especially what he thought about her body. “What?” she snapped, praying that her face wasn’t as red as his.

She expected him to shoot back some dry retort, but to her surprise, he just kept silent, like he was frozen in shock or horror or something unflattering like that. Again: why did she care? It wasn’t like his opinion really mattered to her.

Ben seemed to come to the realization that the room had gone silent around them at the same time that Rey did. They both jerked apart from each other, Ben slamming his notebook on the conference table as Rey sank into the chair on the other side of Rose. She was vaguely aware of the fact that Rose, Finn, and Kaydel were exchanging looks, but she didn’t want to consider what any of them meant. The whole thing was too embarrassing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [That’s actually not an OSHA violation, unfortunately for the Resistance Media HQ employees](https://www.osha.gov/OSHA_FAQs.html#!temp).


	10. Spent too much time online

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sure, [Pamarthe](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Pamarthe) is the name of a bar in this AU. (And if you're wondering, yes, they do have a drink called "port in a storm" on their menu.)

There were other sections of Resistance Media reporting, but the _Resistance Monthly_ magazine was composed of primarily articles from the Culture & Society and Technology columns. As much as Rey and Ben hated it, they had to work together when planning and organizing their monthly issue, with little input from the other managing editors. Both Rey and Ben were too stubborn to quit their jobs or apply to transfer to another department. Neither of them was willing to admit it, but they both loved their jobs, despite the constant headache they gave each other.

Ben strongly felt that Rey was easier to deal with when there were other people around to act as a buffer, but he couldn’t deny that working with her on that virtual reality ecstacy simulator had been fun. Sort of. And when the planning meeting for the next month rolled around, he felt a different sort of apprehension than he usually felt about the prospect of having to spend hours arguing with Rey about the split for articles between their sections.

There was a slight change in the usual tension between him and Rey, but he couldn’t put his finger on what. _Or maybe that’s the twelve hours I’ve spent in this office,_ he thought, looking at the clock. Rey must have been paying more attention to him than he realized, because she followed his gaze and said, “Yikes. It’s 8:30 already?”

Ben grimaced. “I hate deadlines,” he muttered. 

“Me, too.” She let out a long sigh. “I’ve spent too much time online today.”

He couldn’t keep a half-smile from forming on his face. “The managing editor of Resistance Media’s technology section, spending too much time online?”

Rey stuck her tongue out at him, and he definitely did _not_ feel a small flutter in his stomach from the action. Nope. “We need a break,” she said, standing up.

“You’re not just leaving.” _Asshole. Who does she think she is?_

“No, I’m not,” she said, smiling at him. “ _We’re_ leaving. Come on. We’re getting a beer. Pamarthe does half price drinks on Thursdays.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again: I know nothing about journalism so if it’s not realistic for a magazine to primarily focus on technology and culture & technology, shhhh just go with it


	11. Whatever song is playing in the background

Rey wasn’t quite sure what made her decide to drag Ben to Pamarthe. _Clearly, you weren’t thinking,_ she told herself as they sat at a small table, both sipping at pints of beer in awkward silence.

It was unclear if the silence was made more or less awkward by the fact that they were both trying so hard to pretend that they weren’t paying very close attention to each other. Now that they were spending time together outside of the confines of a work assignment, things felt a bit...strange. Rey couldn’t put her finger on why. She’d gone out for a drink after work with Finn dozens of times. And true, they didn’t have the sort of antagonistic working relationship that she had with Ben, but you’d think that he’d chill out now that they were away from the threat of deadlines, right?

She took another sip of her beer, half-paying attention to the saxophone-heavy intro to the song playing on Pamarthe’s speakers. Rey didn’t recognize the pop song’s upbeat tempo, but judging by the quiet humming she could hear coming from Ben as he read the drink specials menu for the tenth time, he did. Rey didn’t realize she was grinning until Ben looked up at her and said, “What is it?” in a tone that suggested that he hadn’t even known he was humming along to the song.

_‘Cause you make me feel like I could be driving you all night_  
And I’ll find your lips in the street lights  
I wanna be there with you. 

“Favorite song?” she asked, nodding up at the speakers positioned in the corner behind Ben.

“Oh.” The tips of his ears turned red, something which struck Rey as _endearing._ She didn’t want to think about why. “Well, I wouldn’t say _favorite_ , but Carly Rae Jepsen is a completely underrated pop musician.”

_Baby, take me to the feeling, I’ll be your sinner in secret when the lights go out._

When Rey didn’t say anything—although she felt her grin grow wider—Ben started to ramble about a pop music column he’d had to work on a few years back. “I think Snoke—the CEO of First Order Publications—put me on it just to piss me off, but it ended up backfiring. As it turns out, I love underrated pop music.”

Rey was speechless. She’d never heard Ben sound so...relaxed, for lack of better word.

_Run away with me, run away with me._

And if she went home later on and added the entire album to her music library, well…Rey had to respect a guy who was unapologetically defensive about his love for underrated pop music.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song they're talking about is ["Run Away With Me" by Carly Rae Jepsen](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeccAtqd5K8) and it is completely underrated.


	12. Being in an empty room

If you had asked Ben Solo three months ago how he felt about Rey Johnson taking a two-week trip to backpack around Vietnam, he would have said, “Thrilled; that’s two weeks that I don’t have to deal with her.” But now it just felt strangely empty to not have her bursting into his office to fight over whatever email he’d just sent.

And okay, sure, maybe he was a little jealous of the fact that she was off on some adventure. Ben had always been very strongly anti-social media, but he’d seen Rose and Finn looking at Rey’s Instagram profile while they were supposed to be paying attention to Poe’s meeting about the layout for this month’s issue of _Resistance Matters_ , and he _may_ have made a mental note of her Instagram handle so that he could secretly look up her trip photos later on. ( _Thank you, incognito mode, for leaving no trace of this_ , he thought while searching for her profile.)

When he was younger, Ben had wanted to travel all around the world, but somehow in the past few years, that desire had totally fallen off his radar in favor of focusing on work and his career. First Order Publications actively dissuaded employees from taking time off, even when they were sick. (Unsurprisingly, employee morale was always low, and everyone got the flu at least once a year due to being in constant contact with each other.) Resistance Media, on the other hand, had a generous time off policy, and employees were required to take at least two weeks off every year. “We want to prevent employee burnout,” Leia explained once. “Also, it’s good for people to travel. Sometimes they bring back ideas for new stories.”

So it was definitely jealousy that Rey was traveling somewhere Ben had never been that he was feeling as he scrolled through her various selfies on beaches, mountains, and rainforests. It wasn’t that he missed her, he told himself. Even her photos of street food looked tempting, and Ben was not an adventurous eater. “Never thought I’d drink something called ‘weasel poop coffee,’ but it’s DELICIOUS,” captioned one photo showing a small cup of creamy-looking iced coffee.

The photos that really got him, however, were the beach selfies featuring a slightly sunburnt Rey in a little bikini that displayed curves that were normally hidden under the modest clothing she wore to work. Ben accidentally closed the browser window in shock after seeing the first one.

Yes. Jealousy. Definitely jealousy. Only about being on vacation. That’s all it was. And that was the only reason he checked her profile every day until she came back from vacation.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [weasel poop coffee is a thing and it really is surprisingly delicious](http://www.huongmaicafe.com/blogs/vietnam-weasel-coffee/)


	13. Whatever’s on TV

“What do you mean, you’ve never watched _Stranger Things_?”

Ben shrugged. “Exactly that.”

“But you’re in charge of the culture and media section. _Stranger Things_ is culture _and_ media.”

“So are a lot of things.”

Rey shook her head. “No, I can’t let you get away with this,” she said. “You’re watching _Stranger Things_ with me. It’s so good!”

Ben had a sudden strange discomfort with the idea of settling in to watch tv on the couch with Rey. He’d dropped by her place once to grab a document from her on his way to the office while she was out sick, but he hadn’t even come inside the apartment. Not to mention there was the whole “Netflix and chill” thing, which he was _pretty_ sure was not what she meant, but it was still A Thing.

Rey barreled on, unaware of Ben’s discomfort. “Look, we’ll take over one of the conference rooms after hours. We can use one of the projectors. I have popcorn. It’s happening, Solo. You leave me no choice.”

“Isn’t that an inappropriate use of company resources?” he asked, although he didn’t actually mean it. Watching tv in a conference room was much less intimate than doing so on a couch in one of their apartments, and he still got to watch the show that had Rey so riled up. Win-win.

“Your mother owns the company. I’m pretty sure we’ll get away with it.” Ben must have still looked hesitant, because she added, “You can also claim that it’s research for an article you’re working on.”

Despite himself, Ben smiled. “I’m writing an article on this?”

“Trust me,” Rey said, returning the smile. “It’s worth it.”

 


	14. Being taller than someone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note, my notes to myself on this chapter just say "this is so fuckin cliche but i don’t even care lmao"

“Shouldn’t you be using a stepladder for that?”

Rey rolled her eyes. It figured that Ben would find a way to complain about hanging fairy lights in the breakroom. “This is fine,” she said, balancing on a chair. _Since when did you care about my personal safety, anyway?_ she thought with a scowl. 

As if hearing her thoughts, he said, “It’s not a matter of personal safety so much as it’s going to be a pain in the ass for everyone if you fall and have to claim workers comp.”

“Of _course_ that’s your concern,” she muttered as she finished pinning the lights in the corner of the doorway. She was going to have to move the chair to get the other corner of the doorway, which was fine, except that when she turned to step off of the chair, Ben was standing in her way. “What?” she snapped, unnerved by the worry in his eyes. _He can’t be—is he_ actually _concerned about me?_ she wondered.

Even more worrying was the way a part of her mind she almost didn’t recognize took in the distance—or, rather, lack thereof—between them, and the fact that the same part of her mind popped a dangerous line of thought: _It’s strange being the taller one. I bet I could still kiss him easily from up here, though._ She was so shocked that she jerked back, then pitched forward as she lost her balance. Embarrassingly, she ended up with her hands balanced on his shoulders, and _his_ hands reaching for her waist as if to help her. “Uh, sorry,” she said, all too aware of the fact that her face was fire engine red.

They were both frozen in place for a moment, then Ben muttered, “I told you this was a bad idea.” That was all it took for Rey to straighten up and step down from the other side of the chair, putting some much-needed distance between them. “Why are you hanging Christmas lights, anyway? It’s February.”

“Because, Solo,” she said, refusing to look at him, “the weather is miserable, and we need something to brighten up the office.”

When he didn’t respond, she forced her gaze up to look at him. She didn’t understand the expression on his face, but he held out a hand. “Give that to me,” he said.

Rey clutched the box of thumbtacks she’d been using to hang the lights. “Why?”

“Let me do it. I don’t need to balance on a chair.”

She wordlessly handed him the thumbtacks, still unnerved by her earlier line of thought. _I bet I could still kiss him easily from up here._

Where had the _still_ come from?

 


	15. Bra being on for too long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leia ships reylo, pass it on

Rey really needed to buy new bras. The fact that her first action upon arriving home at the end of a long day was to take her bra off was a sure sign of that.

Leia had assigned Rey and Ben another collaborative project for this month’s issue, causing Rey to wonder if her boss had an ulterior motive in making the two of them work on so many projects together. Oh, sure, they couldn’t argue with the fact that the _Resistance Matters_ issues with collaborative articles between Rey’s and Ben’s departments sold better, but there was always a glint in Leia’s eye that Rey didn’t like. She was half-tempted to ask Ben if he knew anything about it, figuring that he knew his mother better than Rey did, but that would require acknowledging the fact that there was a weird tension between them that Rey didn’t quite know how to describe.

Well. There had always been tension between them—Ben’s first day at Resistance Media hadn’t been a proud day for either of them—but the tension was shifting it something unfamiliar that had Rey noticing more and more the way Ben filled out a t-shirt on the days he actually loosened up enough to follow RM’s casual dress code (as opposed to the stern business casual dress code at First Order Publications), which had led to a...shall we say, _lewd_ dream about the way he might pick her up and pin her to the wall last week.

So it was with great annoyance and discomfort that she hit the _Accept call from Ben Solo_ button on her phone as soon as she was bra-free that Thursday. “What?” she snapped.

“You left.”

“And?”

“We aren’t done with that spread yet.”

Rey sighed. “I just got home and I’m not leaving again today.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. “We aren’t done with that spread yet,” he repeated, sounding slightly less steady than he had before.

She scowled into the phone. He was right; she’d just been hoping that he would drop it until tomorrow. “Fine,” she said, knowing she would probably regret her next words. “You want to work on it so badly, come over.”

Another moment of silence. Was it crossing some sort of line to invite him over for a work thing? No. He knew that this wasn’t an invitation to...no. No way.

“Are you sure?”

She wasn’t, but it was too late to take it back now. “I’ll text you my address.”

**Contact:** Ben Solo  
  
**Rey:** 2187 Jakku Street, Apartment 3  
  
**Ben:** Did you eat dinner yet?  
  
**Rey:** No, why?  
  
**Ben:** I’ll pick up takeout. Pizza okay?  
  
**Rey:** I like Hawaiian.  
  
**Ben:** You’re shitting me.  
  
**Rey:** It has all five food groups.  
  
**Ben:** Fine. See you soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [shoutout to this tutorial for the text message thing](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434845/chapters/14729722)


	16. A smell I can’t place but reminds me of something

Ben didn’t spend much time in his mother’s office. If they talked, it was usually in his office or in a conference room surrounded by other Resistance Media employees. Embarrassingly, that was mostly because she kept a lot of plants in her office, and Ben was allergic to most of them. (It was hard to maintain professionalism when you were constantly interrupting yourself to sneeze.) As a result, whenever he braved the inevitable allergy attack and went to Leia’s office, he always took note of the plants she had scattered in vases and pots around the room. Today’s selection included a number of flowers that looked vaguely familiar. He leaned in to take a closer look at the small clusters of purple buds and caught a whiff of something that he didn't recognize. For some absurd reason, it immediately made him think of Rey.

"The lilacs are beautiful, aren't they?" Leia said from the doorway to her office.

Ben jumped. "Sorry?"

She nodded at the flowers. "The lilacs," she said. "I couldn't resist bringing some in. They're blooming all over my yard."

Lilacs. Now that she'd said the name, Ben could place the scent. But why did it remind him of Rey? "Right," he said awkwardly, trying to get his thoughts back on track. 

His mother wasn't so easily distracted, however. She was giving him a look, like she knew exactly what he was thinking about. Ben struggled to look as casual as possible, knowing that he wasn't fooling her. She'd always had a sixth sense for trouble, particularly where he was concerned. "They produce such a lovely scent," she said, giving him a knowing look.

"Which is probably going to prompt an allergic reaction in about five minutes."

"Oh, relax," Leia said, finally dropping a stack of papers on her desk. "You're fine. You were never allergic to lilacs."

Ben scowled. "Did you just call me up here to talk about your garden, or are we actually going to work?"

Leia gave him another one of those knowing looks before saying, "You know, I hadn't put much thought into the lilacs until I caught a whiff of Rey's perfume last week, and then I was reminded of the ones in my yard and I thought, you know what? My office could use some more flowers."

Rey wore lilac perfume? That would explain the connection his mind had made between the flowers and his...what, coworker? Reluctant ally? Friend? He wasn’t sure where they stood these days, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ask _her_.

Ben was not going to continue that line of thought any further. At least, not while he was talking to his mother. "So about that series you want me to run next month..."

 


	17. I left something in the fridge hoping that somebody else would eat it but I never asked them to and they probably assumed I was saving it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not think the full chapter title would be allowed for the character count, but apparently it's under the limit!

Ben couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he’d overheard from Finn and Poe last Thursday. “Oh, we should get some tater tot casserole for Rey,” Finn had said.

“Tater tot casserole?” Ben could practically hear the confused frown in his voice.

“Yeah,” said Finn. “You know she grew up in foster care, right?”

Rey grew up in foster care? _No wonder she never talks about going home for the holidays,_ Ben thought.

“So what’s the importance of tater tot casserole?” Poe asked.

“It’s what we got the first day we finally managed to land somewhere stable when we both aged out of the system,” Finn said softly. “Just the two of us, simultaneously celebrating the fact that we were finally on our own and lamenting the fact that our childhoods were...you know,” he said.

So now it was a week later and Ben couldn’t shake the feeling that he had to do something for her as an apology for all the times he’d made a sniping comment about family and being alone. He hated feeling this unsteady, like he was going to make one wrong step and bring their carefully erected truce down. But this was important, he realized.

_Tater tot casserole. Finn said she likes tater tot casserole._ Ben had seen how strongly Rey reacted to food, the way she always turned pink whenever someone offered her a bite to eat. It was a good peace offering if he brought her her favorite food, right?

He left the tater tot casserole in the shared break room fridge on Tuesday, figuring that she’d know it was for her. It wasn’t like there were a lot of other people who liked it. Ben had seen it for himself at various company potlucks. Not that he paid _that_ much attention to Rey, but she seemed to be the only one attacking the tater tot casserole. Although now that he had the context of her history, he wondered how much of that was because their coworkers knew why she liked it so much? Surely he didn’t need to tell her about it. Surely she was smart enough to figure out that it was for her. And this would save Ben the trouble of how to figure out the best way to say _I was eavesdropping last week and learned why tater tot casserole is your favorite, so I got you some as an apology for all of those times I was a dick about your non-existent family._

When Ben opened the fridge to get his own lunch out of it on Thursday, however, he noticed that it still hadn’t been touched. Rey was in the office. He’d seen her in meetings through the glass panes of the meeting rooms so he knew she wasn’t on vacation this week. So why hadn’t she taken the food?

By Friday afternoon, it was obvious that Rey hadn’t realized that the food was for her, and Ben felt oddly disappointed when he spied Kaydel doing the weekly fridge clean out. _Maybe I need to suck it up and actually_ tell _her next time,_ he thought.

And then it hit him that he’d considered doing this _again_...which forced him to acknowledge the reason he’d done it in the first place.

 


	18. Re-watched an episode of TV that I last watched while I was having a feeling

Rey groaned as a pop-up appeared on her computer screen, alerting her that she’d received yet another email from the Corellian Engineering Corporation about the interview she was attempting to set up with one of their lead engineers. It was going to make for a really good article to feature next month, but their liaison was rather needy.

“What is it?” Ben asked, not bothering to look up from his own computer where he was seated across the table from Rey. They were once again working off-hours in her kitchen, a situation that had become increasingly common over the past couple of months. It was starting to feel like a routine for Ben to show up with take-out on evenings where they both still had work to do but were desperate to get out of the office.

“This fucking company,” she said, shutting her laptop. “I need a break. I can’t deal with them anymore tonight.”

This caught Ben’s attention, and he finally looked up at her before nodding slowly. “Yeah,” he said. “I could probably use a break, too.” The pizza he’d brought was starting to get cold; they’d both been too engrossed in their work to eat it until now.

“Did you ever end up finishing _Stranger Things_?” Rey wasn’t quite sure where the question came from. They’d made their way through half of the first season over the course of a couple of weeks of using the projector in one of the conference rooms after-hours, but then Ben had taken a week off to go on vacation and neither of them had brought it up again after he got back. 

“No, why?”

“Do you want to watch it now?” It occurred to her about halfway through the question that there was a _tiny_ possibility that he would misinterpret it and assume that she was going for a ‘Netflix and chill’ thing, so she added, “Pizza and _Stranger Things_ is a good combination. Trust me.”

There was an awkward pause, during which Rey started to panic. _Would stating that this is not an invitation to Netflix and chill make this more or less awkward?_ She had to admit, she didn’t completely hate the idea of Netflix and chilling with Ben...but that was _definitely_ crossing a line (okay, a hundred lines), and the _last_ thing she needed was to push the boundaries of their working relationship, now that they’d figured out how to work together. 

“Sure,” he finally said. “I trust your judgement when it comes to food.”

She grinned and stood up. “You reheat the pizza. I’ll get _Stranger Things_ queued up.”

And if things felt a little strange between them as they settled into Rey’s too-small couch, well...they could always claim that they were going for a theme. But by the time they were hitting ‘Play next’ to watch another episode, she was so comfortable that she found herself hoping that this might become a new routine, as well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Corellian Engineering Corporation](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Corellian_Engineering_Corporation)


	19. My room is messy

"Shit."

"What's wrong?"

"I can't find my phone."

"Front pocket of your backpack."

Rey spun around in her chair to pull her bag up off of the floor, then rummaged around in the front pocket until she pulled out her phone. "Oh, thanks," she said.

"Your keys are on top of your 'inbox' in your mail pile," Ben said without looking up from his computer, "and your wallet is your top desk drawer."

Rey blinked. She knew that her office was particularly messy right now—it had been a rough couple of weeks—but how did Ben know her well enough to not only know where she stored her things, but that she would be looking for them? "Right," she said, sounding a bit dazed. "Thanks. How did you know?"

He finally looked up from his computer screen to smile at her. Lately, Ben's smile had a strange effect on Rey's heartbeat. She kept making a note to study it and figure out what was actually triggering it (surely she wasn't  _ actually _ feeling her heart race simply because of a smile), but...well, the chaotic state of her office was evidence of how low of a priority that was right now. "How did I know where they were, or that you were looking for them?"

"Both." When had Ben gotten to know her so well? Hell, when had she let him?

"You're more predictable than you think, Johnson," he said. And was that a hint of a blush she saw coloring his cheeks and ears?

"This office is chaos. The  _ definition _ of chaos is that it's unpredictable." Rey didn't know why it was suddenly so important to fight him on this point, other than the fact that there was a certain vulnerability in letting Ben know her so well, and she wasn't quite comfortable with it.

“You can’t fool me,” he said. Oh, he was definitely blushing now. She could see the pink staining his cheeks. 

Not that Rey was in any better state. She’d already been feeling frazzled by the current state of her office when Ben had walked in ten minutes ago, and between the smile, the teasing, and the blush, she could feel her own face heating up.

“And in case you’re wondering,” Ben said, looking back at his computer, “your phone charger is in your jacket pocket.”

_ Damnit. He’s right. _

 


	20. Whether or not I felt something yesterday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, I know nothing about journalism, so apologies if PR events are not a thing that managing editors do.

PR events were an unfortunate part of the duties of Resistance Media’s managing editors. Part of the reason why Ben had hated working at First Order Publications so much was that he’d been forced to be highly involved in nearly every single PR event that First Order Publications had thrown, despite his deep hatred of being front and center. It was a little easier at Resistance Media, since Ben was able to avoid the spotlight, but he couldn’t wiggle out of these events completely.

“At least the food at this one is good,” Rey said, echoing Ben’s thoughts as if she’d read his mind. “Remember that event that Cloud City Cinemas sponsored last month? I’m still having nightmares about the cauliflower disguised as mashed potatoes.”

He snorted. He hadn’t thought the dish was all that bad, personally, but Rey’s horrified reaction to being tricked by the food was memorable, to say the least. “I’m glad you detest these events just as much as I do.”

“Yeah, but that’s only because you enjoy watching me suffer.”

Ben wasn’t clear as to whether she was joking or not. “You’re wrong,” he said. “I don’t enjoy watching you suffer.”

“Fine, then it’s a ‘misery loves company’ situation.”

“I’m not miserable when I’m with you.” It wasn’t until he heard Rey’s sharp inhale that he thought about what he’d just said. _Backtrack, backtrack, backtrack NOW._ “I mean, it’s just, we work well together, don’t we? When we’re not fighting.”

It was impossible to know if his attempt to cover up made the situation more or less awkward, because Ben’s brain was too busy sounding all the alarms. What had he meant by ‘I’m not miserable when I’m with you,’ and why did it make him so anxious to say? After a moment of excruciatingly awkward silence, Rey said, “Yeah, you’re right,” without elaborating. Neither of them brought the conversation up for the rest of the night.

The words were still bouncing around Ben’s head when he woke up the next morning. What exactly had he meant by that? _I’m not miserable when I’m with you._

In the middle of the Resistance Media editorial team meeting. _I’m not miserable when I’m with you._  

During a coffee break with Dameron and Connix. _I’m not miserable when I’m with you._

It took him until he was stuck in traffic on his commute back home to fully process the implications of that phrase: _I’m not miserable when I’m with you. It’s impossible for me to be miserable when I’m with you. I’d do anything with you. Because—_ “Oh, fuck.” His jaw dropped as he finally made the connections that had been hovering just out of reach for a while now. “I’m in love with Rey.”

 


	21. How much someone else wants me to have a feeling

Something about the conversation she’d had with Ben at the PR event two nights ago was bothering Rey. She had an inkling of what he’d meant by _I’m not miserable when I’m with you_ , but she was having a hard time believing it. Surely he’d only said it to be polite, right? 

But no, that couldn’t be the reason, because Ben Solo was not polite. Brutally honest? Yes. Frustratingly stubborn? Yes. Completely tactless? Also yes. But polite? No way. Half the time, Rey wanted to throttle him over it, but the other half, she actually respected him for it. It was healthy to be challenged, and he’d been right when he’d mentioned that they worked well together when they weren’t fighting. (Rey actually couldn’t remember the last time they’d _really_ fought, come to think of it.)

_I’m not miserable when I’m with you._ She could say the same for him. He was at least half the reason she’d stuck around Resistance Media. She’d never stayed in one place for so long before, but as time had gone on, Rey had realized that she didn’t want to leave. She just hadn’t questioned the reasoning for that too hard before now. 

The words were burning at the back of Rey’s mind as she went about her day. She and Ben weren’t scheduled to be in any meetings together, so she didn’t catch a glimpse of him until people started heading out for the evening. Her heart skipped a beat as they locked eyes from across the mostly empty office. He gave her a nervous half-smile, and she wondered if he wasn’t still thinking about the words as well.

“Hey, Solo,” she said, making her way over to the table holding the layout that Ben was inspecting. “Long day?”

For some reason, he paused before answering, letting his eyes roam Rey’s face instead. “Something like that,” he finally said. He was on-edge for reasons that she didn’t think had anything to do with the layout he was working on.

She found herself wanting to do something to ease the tension she saw in his shoulders. “Let’s get out of here,” she said, taking his hand.

He looked down at their joined hands. Rey wondered if he was feeling the same sense of surprise about the way it felt natural to twine their fingers together. “As long as you come with me,” he said, squeezing her hand.

“Of course,” she said, squeezing back. “I’ll go anywhere with you.”

 


	22. Just reflecting whatever feeling the person sitting close to me appears to be having

Given all of the inner turmoil Ben had been experiencing over the past forty-eight hours, holding Rey’s hand as he followed her into Pamarthe went as well as he could possibly hope for. She made her way to the bar to order drinks while Ben grabbed a small table in the back, where it was a little quieter.

Ben had never been in love before. He’d dated, sure, but he’d never formed any sort of meaningful connection with another person. He had no idea what he was supposed to expect or do in this situation, but returning the shy smiles she kept giving him seemed like a good place to start. He was going to tell her, of course. If he didn’t, it was going to slip out when he least expected it. At least if he made the conscious decision to do so soon, he’d be somewhat in control of the situation. And anyway, for him, there was no going back to the way things before he’d clued into this new insight about himself.

“For the record,” Rey said as she placed their drinks on the table and slid into the seat across from him, “I’m not miserable when I’m with you, either. I know this may come as a surprise, but I actually love spending time with you. And I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that.”

Ben’s mouth had gone completely dry, but he was unable to look away from Rey for long enough to take a swig of his beer. “I don’t think it’s possible for me to be miserable when I’m with you,” he said. “Rey, I—” He paused, trying to gather the right words. “The things we do together, even things like the stupid PR events and scrambling to find a back-up article because someone dropped out of an interview at the last minute, are the best part of this job. Not because of the job, but because it means I get to spend time with you.” 

Had he ever seen Rey blush before? Maybe it was just the lighting in here. Or maybe it was knowing that it was the effect he was having on her. Either way, it was the prettiest blush he’d ever seen. “Well, now I want to ask you to dinner, but seeing as you already bring me take-out at least once a week, it seems like dinner might be a step back, and we can’t have that.” 

This time, he was the one who took her hand. “We can’t?” She shook her head. “So what do you propose we do instead?”

“Well,” she said, considering. “You could start by kissing me. And then we can go from there.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last drabble is actually finished; it should go up tomorrow or the next day, schedule permitting.


	23. That’s it, there are no other feelings

_Three months later_

“I called this from day one,” Rose said.

“No you didn’t,” argued Finn.

“I did! You weren’t paying attention to the way she looked when he called her out for being late to the meeting.”

“Well, _I_ overheard them in the breakroom later that day, and there was no way they were _ever_ going to get along after that conversation.”

“Are you kidding? They _oozed_ UST from the start.”

“UST?”

Rose grinned. “Unresolved sexual tension,” she said smugly.

Poe looked faintly ill. “Are neither of you bothered by the fact that we just walked in on our coworkers fucking in the supply closet?”

“Pay up,” Rose said, holding out her hand. “I won the bet. You owe me twenty bucks.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a tiny epilogue for this last "feeling." If you're interested, I've got a bit of bonus content for this. The first two chapters were originally written from the other character's point of view, but I ended up switching it for a bunch of reasons. I've posted them on tumblr, in case you'd like to read them:
> 
> ["Being late for something" (Ben's POV)](https://radioactivesaltghoul.tumblr.com/post/185292676600/things-ben-and-rey-have-mistaken-for-a-feeling)   
>  ["Being in a crowded room" (Rey's POV)](https://radioactivesaltghoul.tumblr.com/post/185292958310/things-ben-and-rey-have-mistaken-for-a-feeling)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading the world's shortest slow-burn! It's been a lot of fun to write, and if you're reading this, I appreciate your support <3

**Author's Note:**

> RIP [The Toast](http://the-toast.net/).
> 
> Thanks for reading! This will update as I see fit/have time. These drabbles are all less than a thousand words. I'm trying to learn to not let things blow up in scope.
> 
> I keep forgetting to link to it, but I'm on [tumblr](https://radioactivesaltghoul.tumblr.com/).


End file.
